The 10 Step Journey from Life’s Pain to Life’s Purpose

This process helped Michael Bethune  to go from homelessness, depression and despair into his life’s purpose.

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At one point in my life I thought that I would die in the streets of my beloved hometown as a young homeless military veteran. Sure, I experienced some life-threatening encounters during my six months in the “hazardous duty” zone on the Nicaraguan border during Regan’s “war on drugs,” but the truth is that it was my own uncalculated choice to use drugs (in attempt to anesthetize the pain of my new-found reality) that landed me in that desperate situation.

It was during that time, at the point when I was closest to giving up on life that I began to think about pain’s impact on my life; literally how it had paralyzed my life’s progress and reduced me to existing (not even living) far beneath my true potential. I knew that there was so much more that I could achieve; so many more levels that I could reach; so much more to accomplish, if I could only figure out how to make my pain begin to work for me and no longer against me!

I decided that if I could somehow begin to reverse the faulty thought process that landed me in the pain that paralyzed my life’s progress, then maybe the pain of never wanting to experience that place again could be converted into strength that would then propel me out of the pit of depression and despair, and into my life’s purpose.

Well, that’s exactly what I did and these is the 10 Step Process that I used to do it.

#1 — Acknowledge the Pain

Silent suffering is to life’s paralyzing pain what gasoline is to a car’s engine; it keeps it going. Pain of any kind has to be acknowledged before it can be accessed and treated. Denial of the reality that I had allowed myself to become a homeless veteran afforded me the temporary illusion of not being as bad off as others thought I was. Denial helped me to maintain my pride and save face, or so I thought.

#2 — Admit the Truth

Nothing changes in your situation until you can bring yourself to tell yourself the truth about the origins of your life-paralyzing pain. You have to literally hear yourself own up to the choices and events that brought you to that point in life, even if your predicament is not completely of your own doing. The truth brings liberation; denial perpetuates the pain and keeps you stuck.

#3 — Address the Fear

I once heard it said that “When the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of where you’re going, then you’ll move!” Sometimes the fear of wondering what others will think when they find out the truth about our situation also paralyzes us. This can even cause us to go deeper into denial and end up being stuck in life far longer than we have to; fear must be addressed.

#4 — Abandon All Excuses

Excuses oftentimes serve as the security blankets that we hide behind and hold onto when paralyzed by life’s pain. Denial tells us to place the blame on someone or something else, this way we temporarily escape the hardship of having to face ourselves and come to terms with the reality of how we ended up where we are.

#5 — Accept the Reality

Acceptance is that pivotal life changing point that allows the potential of progress to reenter the equation.  Acceptance says, “OK, I admit that I blew it, but from this point forward I will no longer allow myself to be psychologically enslaved by what others might (or might not) be thinking about me.” It’s time to go from existing to living again.

#6 — Access the Loss/Profit Ratio

Any time that we encounter life’s pain and difficulties we lose some things, and we gain some things. Sure we may lose a job, material possessions, even some people during these difficult times; but the pearls of life like purpose, peace, vision, depth of character and solidification of one’s identity also emerge from these times. I like to see it as pain building the platform that propels us into life’s purpose. Think about this for a minute; no one knows what they’re really made of until life hands them a situation that forces them to find out, right?

#7 — Analyze the Profits

This is place where you do a thorough identification/examination of the things that were added to your life as a direct result of what you went through. In this step your goal is to identify what it is, how it works, and how you might incorporate it into who and what you already are, in order to further maximize your full potential.

#8 — Add Up the Benefits

This just means to compile a specific list of all those things (gifts, talents, passion for life, virtues, etc.) that you now have to work with, that you didn’t have before life paralyzed your progress. I discovered when going through this process many years ago that, its these very things that will both reveal your life’s purpose and enable you to thrive in it.

#9 — Embrace Your Full Ability

Own it, nurture and develop it, be thankful for it, and seek every opportunity to use it to make a difference in the lives of others.  As you do, you’ll quickly discover that what you learned and gained in your affliction will begin to benefit the lives of others more than it benefits you; once this happens, you have transitioned into your life’s purpose.

#10 — Embark Upon Your Purpose: Take Action

My mom always says that when she dies, she wants to go to the grave empty. She would go on to say that all of our gifts, talents, abilities and skills have been given for the sole purpose of “depositing them into people on this side of life, because on the other side you don’t need them.” That said, go and empty yourself of your life’s purpose.

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Photo: Getty Images

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